Sometimes,
I wish I could disappear into the purple-blue ashy summer
twilight sky
Become a part of that big aching aliveness
Just be pure color, pure emotion
Never have to exist
Go through the effort of living, breathing, experiencing
Sometimes I wish I could just see.
See and feel but never do.
Sometimes, I wish I was invisible.
Because then I could just watch this wonderful wild
fascinating world
Sometimes I like to listen to the music of my mother’s voice
chatting with my father in the front seat of the car
Sometimes I like it when they forget I am there, and
I can just hear the
soft lilt of their conversation wash over me
Sometimes I want to become nothing,
Because then I would be a part of everything
Sometimes I feel very small and insignificant and quiet
And sometimes I do not want to speak.
It is a wonderful feeling,
When I am so
wide-eyed and slender and unknown.
When my voice is only in my head, when I can talk only to me
and no one will hear me
Sometimes I like to be by myself,
To walk along the street and dip into the little shops and
look at the earrings on the rack
And then to keep going if I wish, or stay
And listen to the women talk about the colors that accent
their eyes
And the children about the kind of ice cream cones they
want.
Sometimes I like to be silent,
And relinquish myself
Sometimes I like to be just a little animal
Simple and happy.
I can feel it all then,
The whole kaleidoscope of humanity.
Sometimes I like that feeling,
That completeness.
It makes me want to
disappear into the ashy blue summer
twilight sky
It makes me want to give myself up.